Reception

This half-term I shall be scouring the school grounds for magic mushrooms, or whatever it is that Stern Teacher is putting into Tiddler's tea.

When he's not singing, or in search of Scooby Doo, he generally joins us in bed in the morning for (largely incomprehensible) chats about life, the universe and under 5's football.

The latest was an explanation of how Reception class works. According to Tiddler, Stern Teacher is the 'Master Teacher' and the other teachers are the 'elves'. I'm not certain which is the more disconcerting. School as the North Pole, carving out toys for deserving children or school as 1930's Germany, carving out a new world order.

Our policy generally is to nod sagely and say 'okaaaay' in a slightly bewildered fashion.

On this occasion it seemed to fit the bill admirably.